PART VI: REMEMBERING AND RETURNING
Bottom of the order. Brant bats clean-up.
Chapter 27: Every Spiritual Home. This chapter rang
true for me. I thought of a friend who had run wild as a youth, became a
jailhouse convert to a strict, legalistic form of Christianity. Never one to do
things half way, he became a pastor in a holiness denomination. I think for a
time in his life he lacked self-control and needed the external control that
church provided. Later he had a deconversion experience, became an atheist, and
left the church. He still seemed unsettled to me. I always prayed that he would
find balance.
What communities have been your spiritual homes? Have you
outgrown or moved beyond a community that was once your home? Are you still
grateful for those communities or are you embarrassed by your former
participation in them?
Chapter 28: The Secret Passage is about a strange
detail of a church’s architecture, weddings, and growing up. I was a member of
a church with a secret passage once. Daniel writes about 1 Corinthians 13 (the
“love chapter” read at so many weddings) and for a happy change, I agree with
her interpretation. It’s not about marital love, but it can be applied.
Have you ever seen anything like the secret passage? Is
your congregation a place where people can grow up? Does it accommodate
age-appropriate faith? Does it encourage its members to step out into the
adventures of life?
Chapter 29: Valentine’s Day gives us the history of a
religious holiday that has devolved into a celebration of romance. Not that
there’s anything wrong with romance! “We want love and lives filled with love,”
Daniel writes. “We don’t want arguing and discord....” Is this universally
true? Why do some people seem to thrive on arguing and discord?
Daniel suggests that love “is right here, where we live, at
church, at your kitchen table,” etc. No romantic heights there, just love in
the everyday and the imperfect. What does this commonplace love look like in
your life? (On my 25th wedding anniversary, I repaired the toilet. True
story.) When did you last make time for love? More importantly, when will
you next make time for love?
In Chapter 30: A Grade of
Incomplete Daniel says that “most of our important jobs are never
complete.” There is a sense of accomplishment in actually finishing a job.
Years ago, I knocked together five sets of metal shelves for our basement. We
didn't need five sets, it was just that, when I got done building those
shelves, I could look at them and say “Well, that’s done.” Finally my wife told
me we had enough shelves. Do you do anything to gain a sense of completion?
Does it bother you to be unable to complete things?
People “are not complete until God
completes us.” What does it mean to be complete?
Chapter 31: Little Boots. Okay, I’m a sucker for an
animal story and I have a couple of cats of my own. This story isn’t about
animals so much as it is the strength of community. We make God manifest to one
another. “We’re here to look out for one another,” Daniel says. Personally, I
believe that the heart of Jesus’ message is: “Trust God and take care of one
another.” Do you agree? (You don’t have to. Really.)
Do you have an experience of being cared for by a
community? Or of being part of a community that cared for someone else?
In Chapter 32: Trial Separation Lillian Daniel
describes her dysfunctional family. I’ll let her pose some of the questions: Could
your most caustic relationships be redeemed? Is there a trial separation you
might want to end? Is there someone you cannot reconcile with by your own
power, but you might be able to by the power of divine grace and mercy? These
might be too personal to answer in the public forum of a blog. Human
relationships are messy, unpredictable and uncontrollable. We all need a little
mercy.
To wrap up this blog, let me ask: Did you have a favorite
essay in this book? Did you enjoy reading and discussing it? Was there anything
you disagreed with?
Should we have another synod-wide read-along and
discussion like this? Who should lead it? What book should we read?
That’s all! As Jamie would say, “Peace out!”
Spiritual Home
ReplyDeleteDo people search OR shop for a church? I think there is a difference. I am in awe of the people I’ve met that were born, baptized, confirmed, and married in the same congregation. I think I would have like to experience that in my life.
The author’s last paragraph was quite meaningful to me: “No spiritual home is all good or all bad. So give thanks…” (p. 182).
I, too, liked Daniel's last point. I think that some people may have church experiences that are overwhelmingly bad--abusive. But no spiritual home I've ever been a part of felt that way. Come to think of it, an abusive situation may not qualify as a "home."
DeleteAs for shopping v. searching, it's common to hear church leaders complain about a "consumer mentality" among people looking for a church. Personally I don't think that any congregation can be all things to all people. Looking for a congregation that "fits" is not entirely illegitimate.
Secret Passage
ReplyDeleteIn the past few congregations I have belonged there have been many additions made to the original buildings. There were therefore, many nooks and crannies in the architecture. As a Sunday school teacher, and VBS leader, I would many times take the kids on exploring adventures through and round those “secret passages.”
During one VBS teaching lesson, a group of kindergarteners and I were pretending to be the disciples after Jesus had died. We had to sneak around the church for fear of being seen! I lead them to the basement where I had one of the adult men set up, ready to meet us dressed like a Roman soldier, spear and all! He startled us and questioned whether we had seen this Jesus person. He stated that Jesus was trying to trick everyone into thinking he was the Son of God and was still alive. He challenged us as a group whether we believed this nonsense or not. One of the young girls stepped forward to announce defiantly that it WAS true! Looking the “centurion” square in the eyes, she told him that Jesus IS God’s son and he WAS really alive. He died on the cross to save our sins. At that point the other students chimed in with confirmations. The centurion backed off and we left the “secret basement” with a feeling of courage. I still know that little girl who is now in high school and showed such great faith as a 5 year-old.
I guess that story is a bit off topic, but I had to share.
As a child I was fascinated with the doors and the room from which the pastor emerged at the beginning of the church service. In my eyes it was a “holy of holy” place. With my father being a pastor, I was able to visit that “scared” room and was a bit disappointed that it was no more and extension of his office and more like a closet. It still remains a bit sacred to me this day.
I love your question about the congregation “accommodating age-appropriate” faith. We have busy bags for the little ones to keep them busy during a church service. We have the youth room, where the teens can go and do their thing.
I'm not sure anything is off-topic in these discussions. I like the story! What a fun way to engage the students' imagination in their encounter with Scripture.
DeleteFredrick Beuchner has an essay (without looking, I think it's in "Wishful Thinking") in which he describes a musty workshop as a sacred place. One of the things that Jesus' incarnation means is that workshops, and closet-like passageways, and stables, and crosses, and all of creation have been made sacred.
Valentines
ReplyDelete“Has your life been moving so fast, you missed it?”
Wow! I’ve learned that it only takes one event to bring focus into a life; a broken water heater, a trip to the doctor, an injury. The whole world shrinks down and one focuses on what is really important in life.
I have beautiful photo albums that I am very proud of. Once I get the prints from the camera, they are placed in chronological order in the photo album that is labeled. My family can find a picture of anyone or event if they know the date. We will often sit down with these albums and reminisce. If there were a fire at my house, those albums would be the second things I would grab (the first is our beagle.)
I think love is shown to those we care for mainly by our actions. We make time for special help, honor requests, change plans to accommodate someone, etc. Not to mention the household chores and numerous other family activities that are done without asking. Unconditional love.
As to your question why some people seem to thrive on arguing and discord, I think that they are the ones who have not had enough love shown or shared with them. They only know anger. They are addicted to anger. It makes them feel good. Power is another reason. Those people have a low self esteem that they are guarding carefully.
At my pastors' text study this morning I recounted a story from early in my ministry about a woman who was deeply unhappy in herself. She was demanding and controlling and seemed to want everyone around her to be just as miserable as she herself was. I complained about her to an assistant to my bishop, hoping to gain some insight. He said, "Well, Brant, she isn't saved, is she?"
DeleteLutherans don't talk about people being "saved" much. We prefer to talk about "justification" and such. But the assistant to the bishop had a real point. She was not gracious because she did not know grace. She was controlling because she was not comfortable with things being beyond her control. She was not saved because she did not feel safe in this world...or the next.
I have a drawer full of bad old snapshots, all out of order and unlabeled. :-) Obviously, I don't feel a great need to control things.
And yes, we show love in our actions.
Incomplete grade
ReplyDeleteIt bothers me very much not to complete things. I rarely leave things incomplete. When I do, the guilt haunts me! I also have expectations of others if they leave things incomplete. I gotta watch the judgments I make of others on this topic.
I am a swimmer and I love to work on the landscaping around our house. Both tasks give me a great sense of completion. Goal times are set for the pool and the appearance and lack of weeds are set for the landscape.
In the pool, a swim meet with races against other women my age determine if the goal has been accomplished from my workouts. The times are then recorded in my “swim book” and I set new goal times.
In the garden, the weeding and trimming continue until the predetermined appearance is accomplished. Then my favorite part of the gardening - watching it grow! The flowering, the new growth, the beauty, I am always in awe.
I get a sense of completeness with these and other tasks, yet there is always more… just a little faster, one more perennial in this spot. Like the famous saying on NPR: “You learn something new every day.”
I don’t think we are ever complete. People will tell their spouses that that individual makes them complete. I think it only makes them complete in the “companion section” of their being, but not in all the parts of themselves.
I really liked this story. However, I wish Daniel had described how a community of faith works in the same way. We visit shut-ins, bring food to grieving families, send cards, and have prayer chains. Congregations also serve the communities surrounding their church building with food pantries, clothes drives, and working on habitat for humanity houses. Worldwide help exists also. The ELCA has global partnerships that provide assistance for needy families in different parts of the globe.
ReplyDeleteI did not read the quote you gave “Trust God and take care of one another.” I had to re-read the essay and found this quote: “We’re here to look out for one another.” In any case, I absolutely agree. God intended us to be partners with Him caring for his creation, plants, animals, and other human beings.
I have a list of 11 people that I send cards to about 2 times a month. I include words of encouragement and uplifting quotes. I have never received nor expected a return card from any of them. As I am writing each card, I think of the person and say a prayer for their healing and welfare and another when I put the cards in the mailbox.
the above comment was for chapter 31 Little Boots
DeleteThe words in quotes were not from the book. They are my personal take on the heart of Jesus' message. The message about Jesus is another matter....
DeleteSeparation
ReplyDeleteI really related to this story. When I was 10 years old my parents had a trial separation. It was in the spring and summer months. But, unlike Daniel, I did not get to see my father more often. He was studying to be a Chaplin and although he was living in the same city, he did not come to visit often. The separation only lasted for 3-4 months. I cried almost every night during that time. I remember that his birthday was on July 4th and we did not get together as a family to celebrate it. I couldn’t imagine anyone having a birthday without a party and cake! My mom and dad learned to work things out and he came back and stayed in the marriage until his death.
I gained a new insight with Daniel’s description of how her parents could keep their wedding vows and live apart from one another! They could actually support one another better by living apart. I wish all divorces could be this way. I know so many bitter couples and the children are usually in the middle of it.
Daniel’s questions are good ones and I agree, the answers don’t need to be written in this blog, they are for pondering. I know I have some “trial separations” in my life and the questions inspired me to think about them once again.
“…the Holy Spirit keeps knitting us back together, miraculously often through the church, reminding us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Not even one another.” (p. 214)
Wrap-up
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this book as a whole and did not have one favorite essay. Each one touched on something different. I did revisit the title several times and tried to remember what most of the essays had to do with SBNR. I think a better title would have been Lillian Daniel’s sub title: “Seeing God in Surprising Places, Even the Church.” I will definitely put this book on the shelf and re-read it sometime as a devotion. It is thought provoking and a catalyst for some Bible study.
I definitely enjoyed discussing the book, but I often wondered why I was the only one? I even thought that there was another site somewhere, where a group of people were having a passionate discussion! LOL!
I think we should definitely do this again. How could I help promote the fact that the book discussion exists? Could we make sure pastors are announcing it in the church services? I myself found out of its existence from the “Walking Together” e-newsletter.
Jamie and I have chuckled over the fact that there was so little participation in this read-along. It seems a pity. We appreciate your participation, Debbie.
DeleteMaybe next time, if there is a next time, there will be more response.